Friday, July 24, 2009

My Origins? A Theory.

Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate,
and medical degrees in his small home town and then left for Manhattan, where he
quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper at a conference
coincidentally held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his
papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to
retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The
microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the room and reverberated
it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained
his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding
applause and raced out of the stage door, never to be seen in his home town
again.

Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He
reserved a hotel room under the name of McCoy and arrived under cover of
darkness.

The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. McCoy?"

Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here and
received my education here, but then I moved away."

"May I ask why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk.

"Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing
happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return."

The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one
thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even
remembered by others. I'll bet that's true of your incident too."

Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my incident."

"Was it a long time ago?"

"Yes, many years."

The clerk asked, "Was it before or after The Epstein Fart?

2 comments:

  1. First visit to your blog from Shelly's. This captivated my interest throughout and though I suspected the ending, the pacing and phrasing of it still got me laughing out loud. Excellent storytelling. I am always looking for fellow flash fictionites.

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  2. Having read more of your blog, I realize my mistake. You are a novelist, yet each piece can stand alone as a short-short tail. You also sound suspiciously like Shelly Lowenkopf.

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